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Language Development

Says name and address

5 is the age when most children are developing a clear sense of where they and their family live, both in terms of the street address and the city and state. But this is not something that develops automatically; parents need to teach it, pointing out to their child the house number on the house or apartment, the name of the street on the street sign, and the location of the city and state on a map. Then it’s a matter of practice and memorization for a child to learn to say the address when asked.

Tells longer stories.

5-year-olds love to tell stories, both made-up and true. This is a great way for children to practice their rapidly increasing language skills, and the parent’s job is to listen attentively and encourage the child to elaborate on what happened next, how someone felt, what the consequences were of the actions taken. This not only is how children practice communication, but also memory, understanding of cause and effect, and perspective-taking (understanding how someone else sees things or feels in a certain situation). You can help by asking questions like, “What happened next? How do you think he felt when that happened? I wonder what she could have done to solve that problem?”

Uses future tense.

The use of the future tense reflects not only the child’s growing language skills, but also the development of the concept of time – past, present and future. It can be both fun and useful to sit down in the evening with your child and talk about what lies ahead the next day—or the next few days. You might look at a calendar together and mark days with special events or activities. Then you also can invite your child to think about what you need to do to be prepared for those future events. Each time you involve your child in a conversation like that, you are building your child’s language and life skills.

Speak in sentences of five or more words.

At 5 years of age, a child is able to tell you very clearly what is on his or her mind. Sentences are becoming longer and more complex, with fewer mistakes in grammar. If your child does make mistakes (for example, saying “I weared that shirt yesterday,”), rather than pointing out the child’s error, just say, “Oh, you wore that yesterday? Then maybe you want to wear something different today.” You want to encourage your child to continue to express his or her opinions and feelings, without worrying about being judged.

Social and Emotional Development

Likes to sing, dance and act

5-year-olds are excited to discover the things they can do with their voice, their body, their imagination. The more outgoing child is a natural performer; even a shy child is likely to enjoy singing, dancing and make-believe in a familiar environment with caring adults. The best way to nurture this important aspect of creativity and self- expression is to join the child in creative play—acting out a favorite story, singing a familiar song (or making up a new one to fit the situation) while driving in the car, or having a family dance party after dinner.

Wants to please friends

Friendships are becoming increasingly important to 5-year-olds. They want to be liked and accepted and they are learning how to invite someone to play with them, how to share and compromise so they can keep that interaction going, and how to resolve conflicts when they arise. Parents often need to play the role of coach, helping their child practice what to say or do when a tough situation comes up with another child.

Knows the difference between fantasy and reality

5-year-olds have lively imaginations, but they usually can tell you when they are making up a story or when it really happened. Although you don’t always have to point out the difference, it can be helpful to ask your child to tell you stories about what happened at school or childcare that day, listening carefully to your child’s experiences. Then, at bedtime when you often read a book to your child, you might say instead, “How about we make up a bedtime story tonight?” Then you might take turns telling parts of a story of an imaginary adventure.

Seeks new experiences

5-year-olds have a great sense of adventure and usually are eager to try new experiences, as long as trusted adults are nearby to protect and encourage them. This is a time for parents to encourage their children to try a variety of things to discover what they like most—new foods, arts, sports, outdoor adventures. It also is important to respect the fact that children may not like everything they try; pushing something new on a child almost always backfires and makes it less likely that the child will enjoy the new experience.

Agrees to rules more easily

5-year-olds have discovered that it pays to cooperate with others, both their peers and adults. They have learned through experience that following the rules leads to a more enjoyable time for everyone. The task for parents is to make sure children understand in advance exactly what will be expected of them (for example, you need to share the Legos with your sister and, when I tell you dinner is ready, you need to come to the table right away). 

Shows increasing independence

5-year-olds take pride in being able to do things on their own. They may be excited to brush their own hair (even if it doesn’t look as perfect as when a parent does it), spread the peanut butter on their own toast, or choose the outfit they want to wear to childcare or preschool. For parents, it’s important to provide opportunities—and just enough support and encouragement—so the child experiences success in trying new things independently. Perfection is not the goal; effort and confidence are!

Cognitive Development

Understands the concept of time.

5-year-olds are becoming very aware of time—how many days until our special outing to the zoo? Is it time for dinner yet? How long before my friend has to go home? Children can learn a lot about hours and minutes if you use an oven timer. For example, tell your child that it will be time to put the toys away and come to the dinner table in 30 minutes, then set the timer to ring when the 30 minutes are up. (You also might explain that 30 minutes is the length of a favorite TV show or the same amount of time it takes to drive to swim lessons.) For time concepts related to days or weeks or months, show your child the calendar and mark off each day until a special event arrives.

Recognizes his or her written name.

5-year-olds may vary in their ability to write their names—and that also may vary with how long and complicated their names are. But, with a little instruction, most 5-year-olds can learn to recognize their name. Write down several people’s names, including your child’s, and have him or her circle their own name. Point out the features of their name—for example, the first and last letters. Put a nametag on your child’s bedroom door or the coat hook where your child hangs his or her coat after school so that your child has plenty of opportunity to see their name and become familiar with it.

Can identify six body parts.

5-year-olds are becoming very familiar with the parts of their body and usually can name basic parts if you point to them—arm, leg, head, foot, hand, eye, ear, nose, mouth. Because children this age are typically so excited to learn new things, it can be a fun game just to see how quickly they can identify more specific body parts—first by having you say the name (e.g. elbow, wrist, ankle) and have the child point to it, then you point to it and have the child say the name (a more difficult task). Remember to keep it light and fun for your child as he or she builds new vocabulary and a new awareness of body parts.

Names at least four colors correctly.

At 5, children are usually able to distinguish between different colors and to name at least the most common primary colors (black, white, red, blue, green, yellow). To help your child, be aware of mentioning colors when you are talking to your child (for example, “Look at that shiny red fire truck!” or “The sky is blue today, so I don’t think it’s going to rain.”). Or play a fun game while riding in the car, looking to see who can be the first to spot a black truck or a green car.

Knows about things used at home, such as money or food.

5-year-olds usually love to be engaged in what’s happening around the house. They are constantly watching and learning from the everyday tasks of the adults in the family. So it’s great to engage them in figuring out what you need to get at the store in order to make the recipe you have planned for dinner—or to figure out if you have enough money in your wallet to pay for the ice cream your child wants. Let your child see you planning and making decisions, talk out loud about what you are doing, and, as your child learns, engage him or her in helping with daily decisions.

Can sort items by color, shape and size.

At 5, children are becoming more attentive to different features of objects, seeing how they are the same and different. They can see how some items can be the same (e.g. in terms of shape) and different (e.g. in terms of color) at the same time. Sorting tasks can be fun for children this age—for example, first sorting the blocks by color, then sorting the same set of blocks by size. This helps children not only understand concepts of size, shape and color but also increase their ability to focus their attention and follow directions—both important skills for succeeding in school and life.

Counts ten or more objects.

Whereas a younger child may be able to say numbers in order, a 5-year-old is learning to really understand the concept of counting objects. You can encourage this understanding by asking your child to figure out how many forks or knives you need to put on the table for dinner. Or you can look at the calendar together and count how many days it is until you go to visit Grandma and Grandpa. It helps to point (or have your child point) at the objects being counted—and then to notice how well your child is counting (for example, “Way to go! That’s good counting!”).

Motor Development

Copies triangles, circles, squares and other shapes.

5-year-olds are observant and beginning to be able to look at a simple object and duplicate it on paper with a sturdy crayon or marker. They usually love to experience their own success in copying basic shapes (circles, squares, triangles, ovals) you’ve drawn (or that are printed in a worksheet or workbook). While it’s good for children this age to be able to name these shapes, copying them actually is important preparation for the drawing and printing they will do in years to come. If copying shapes on paper is difficult for a child, it sometimes is less frustrating to practice by drawing with a finger in a tray of sand or even going outside to draw in the mud with a stick. 

Does somersaults.

Somersaults are a fun and exciting milestone for young children, representing both bravery and coordination in making their bodies do impressive tricks. (Cartwheels, an even more challenging task, will follow in a year or two.) Children love to practice somersaults in a safe space, clear of obstacles and with a reasonably soft surface. Initially they will need a little coaching on how to tuck their head under and get started, but soon they will want to show you this new trick over and over.

Hops and may be able to skip

5-year-olds usually are proud of the new things they are able to do with their bodies. They love to show parents and teachers how well they can hop on one foot (and then the other foot, which is usually even harder). It can be a fun and motivating game to count how many hops your child can do on each foot, always focusing on the success not the failures. Skipping is a more challenging motor task, requiring a repeated “step-hop” one foot after the other. Some children will pick it up just from watching an adult or older child do it; other children will need more direct explanation and demonstration.

Draws a person with a body.

5-year-olds are becoming more aware of how the human body looks and more able to represent it on paper. Although the proportions may be off and many parts may be missing or incomplete, a child this age usually will be able to draw at least a basic human figure that includes a body, a head, and maybe arms and legs. As with so many skills, children at this age will vary a great deal in terms of the level of details in their drawings and the coordination with which they put crayon or pencil to paper.

Prints some letters.

Children vary a great deal in terms of when they develop both the visual attentiveness and the fine motor coordination to be able to print letters of the alphabet. But by age 5, most children will be able to print some letters, especially capital letters (which have more straight, simple lines) and letters that are very familiar, such as those that are in the child’s own name. It can be helpful to have a child practice first by using his or finger to draw letters in a tray filled with sand, then moving on to printing with a fat crayon on wide-lined paper. Print the letter first so the child can copy what you have done, then gradually move toward having the child print from memory. (While printing the letter, say the name of it and the sound it makes, paving the way for other important pre-reading skills your child is developing at this age.)

Swings and climbs.

5-year-olds are quickly becoming stronger, more coordinated and more independent in what they can do with their bodies. Whereas at earlier ages they relied on grown-ups to help them onto the swing and to push them, now they are more likely to get themselves securely into the swing and even to pump their legs to keep the swing moving. (Loving the thrill of swinging high, though, they still might like parents to give them a big push now and then.) They also usually love to climb on playground equipment, steep hills and even furniture. They relish the challenge and the confidence they feel as they discover their new found balance and skill. It’s important to create safe opportunities where children can practice these skills independently, with some good cheers from loving parents on the sidelines.

Uses a fork and spoon, sometimes a table knife

Children at this age are becoming increasingly independent and coordinated in the way they feed themselves. Typically they can handle a spoon without too many spills, can use a fork to spear solid food items and may even begin to use a table knife to spread butter or peanut butter on their bread. Although they still probably won’t be very coordinated in using a knife and fork together, with some guidance and encouragement, they may be able to begin to hold a soft piece of chicken or baked potato steady with a fork while they try to slice off a bite of it with a table knife. It’s important for mealtime to be relaxed and enjoyable, so don’t rush things or worry about a few spills; just admire your child’s new skills and manners and know that he or she is practicing skills for a lifetime.